Strugr

Dear Reader,

I am a dog.

It would perhaps be helpful to remind everyone what a dog is. It is an animal that barks, runs, and licks faces.

We know this, by infallible presuppositions. Yet when it comes to bringing the dog into your heart and home, for your own enjoyment, what do you do? You muzzle him, spank him for barking, tie him up, and make him get down when he wants to lick people's faces. And when he does none of these things he was made to do, you congratulate him and say, 'Good dog.'

But these are not actions of a 'good dog' at all. They are the actions of a sub-dog, a dog who is not enjoying himself like a dog, a dog who is a waste product of the human.

Last night I heard the female in hysterics at one o'clock after the seventh assay into the night to make me stop barking. It is Odin's daughter she is worried about: Odin's daughter was made to sleep at night, to be a 'good girl'. So in fact was she, though she has forgotten this since she came here. But I was made to bark. And run around. And lick faces.

Humans ought to remember these things before they get dogs, was what the female said. And in all fairness, she did not get me. She had me foisted upon her by the former owner, who has not given me a bath in over a year. She also had foisted upon her a cake of soap.

So they are going to get me a muzzle, and give me a bath. This forces me to retaliate with some shocking news about the male.

His hair is fake.