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"Ask a Dog"
| Tuesday, August 25, 2009 |
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cashing in on the resemblance
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Recently the female went public with the information that she is a Sylvester Stallone lookalike. As she's currently in the process of making 'DAUGHTER OF ROCKY: I-VII', I thought I would compose a theme song for her. I was thinking of 'Stye of the Tiger', a subtle yet unpredictable hearken back to the original Rocky's.
Risin' up, back on my feet
Brushed my teeth, tied my laces,
Went the distance to my vision doctor's.
Just a girl walking ten or twenty paces.
etc
Chorus: (this would be sung by the opthamologist:)
It's the stye of the tiger, it's the staph in your eye, etc.
The inspiring theme of these movies is of course Rocky's daughter's epic fight against ocular infection due to using an old tube of mascara while getting ready for a series of dinner engagements with the offspring of Apollo Creed. At one point she runs up the stairs of her small two story townhome in Philadelphia to this music, making a triumphant gesture on the landing (interrupted, sadly, when she trips over a tinkertoy and falls back downstairs).Labels: the female: Rocky Balboa |
posted by Zack @ 8/25/2009 02:32:00 PM   |
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| Monday, August 10, 2009 |
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an original poem
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Smile though your scalp is flaking;
Smile, even though it's caking:
When Selsun Blue stings your eye
You'll get by
If you smile through your stifled groaning
Smile, and the Selsun, foaming
Will look like ice cream on your head;
Or marshmellow spread:
Smile, though your hair is straked in
Pieces of skin, sun-baked in:
When there is snow on your comb
Though your home
Is in warm, southern climal regions,
Smile, you could be Norwegians:
You can pretend it's all in style
If you'll just smyle.
This is the first canto of a long poem about dandruff: I hope the post-post modern sentiment on the meaning of life has been made undecipherable here with sufficient clarity. It's a dark piece: I was depressed when I wrote it. The female had just burned some bacon.Labels: poetry about dandruff |
| posted by Zack @ 8/10/2009 10:21:00 AM |
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| Saturday, August 01, 2009 |
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an open letter to my schizophrenic follower
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Dear Readers (in addressing a split personality, it's proper to use the plural):
After a long nap, I woke up to check my blog stats and nearly screamed when I saw that I've had two unique visits in the past week: this must mean that besides you guys, someone else has stumbled over my site. It's almost as if the end times are upon us: a literal interpretation of Revelation leads me to conclude that the rise of my popularity will usher in the millenium. My commentary on these things is forthcoming, illustrated with charts and graphs (authentic screenshots of my blog stats from the Middle East).
It was then that I realized that I have actual web linkage. Yes, dear readers, in fulfillment of prophecy, The Calvinist Vent has linked to me. I have decided to return the favor. Witness it on my sidebar, "The Blog of a Beast". |
| posted by Zack @ 8/01/2009 04:07:00 PM |
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